What shame there is in sin! It need not be something that most people in the world would consider terrible. It need not even involve anyone else. It may only be between the Lord and yourself – no-one else knowing what has transpired. In fact, many may yet still praise you publicly for your great Christian profession. But below it all, if you are living in habitual sin there is shame and loathing of yourself before God. This of course is assuming that you truly profess the Lord.
But then it doesn’t even need to be a habitual sin – it may be just a single sin that may be regarded as a one off. Yet even in this for the true believer there is a deep sense of sin. It seems difficult to remove the shame, even though you know the Scripturres assure you of forgiveness in and through the Lord Jesus Christ.
This deep self-loathing and disappointment with yourself seems to be a constant companion. It is difficult to shake, even when you have re-read the promises of Scripture and know with theological accuracy the truth of salvation in Christ and your unshakeable position before God by virtue of your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Yet there continues this abiding sense of guilt and shame. Sometimes a sense of depression will set in and a fear or shame to even go to the Lord your God in prayer. Yet here is the irony of such shame borne of personal sin. By actually going to the one you are afraid to approach (or ashamed to approach) and confessing all, then throwing yourself upon the grace and mercy of God and clinging to the Lord Jesus Christ as your righteousness and salvation, as the very one whom you offer up to God as having paid the price of sin for you, as the one in whom you look for the clearance of personal debt relating to that particular sin or sins – is the way to remove such shame and to move on with a new confidence by virtue of being in Christ, with the knowledge of forgiven sin and certainty of eternal life. Yet we don’t, until we have punished ourselves beyond that which is required by Christ.
How much are we required to suffer before we go to God for His pardon? Nothing at all. It is not of personal merit or of achieving a level of personal punishment before there is forgiveness and a cleansing of the conscience. Immediately we need to go to the Lord for that and we shall have it immediately on the basis of grace alone in Christ.
How I often need to remind myself of this!