Sweet Escape or Inner Self Realities


This is not a post about the Gwen Stefani CD ‘Sweet Escape’ – just in case you turned up on that possibility. I do have that CD and I am something of a Gwen Stefani fan, but that is a whole other story.

No, this post is about trying to make a ‘sweet escape.’ There are times in life when you think that just maybe you can escape your troubles and get away and make a fresh start ~ just like I did several months ago when I quit my job, left Newcastle and moved to Gloucester. There are many reasons for doing so – some good, some bad – I’m talking in general terms and not specifically about my own case. Some flee to escape prosecution, being caught out, embarrassment, etc. Some flee to escape hardship, personal trauma and distress, financial difficulties, etc. Some escape to just have a change, an adventure or for something different. There are a myriad of reasons for trying to have a sweet escape.

I have catalogued various reasons for my change of circumstances several months ago in letters, Blog entries, web sites, etc. I’m not sure whether I have carefully articulated every reason there was for me doing so, but I have made mention of quite a number, which were not insignificant reasons, for doing so. These included work stresses, illness, etc.

What I have come to experience (which I already knew intellectually to be so – though one often flies in the face of what one actually knows to be the facts) is that those reasons which have impacted significantly on the ‘inner self,’ which I believe some might call the ‘psyche’ or some other similar term, are not possible to escape from. These travel with you no matter how much running from them you might attempt to do. In my case I carry quite a few of these things with me ~ significant hurts, personal flaws and failures (some of which could be accurately titled sins), eating disorders (that might come back to bite me – no pun intended), etc.

Right now one of these not so helpful ‘pseudo-symbiotic&r squo; reasons is plaguing my consciousness and has returned as a major ‘filler’ for my quiet moments, solitary times, etc. Not long ago I had thought I had come to grips with this particular issue, only to find it re-surface several weeks ago and cause renewed distress, etc. As I say, it is near impossible to escape those experiences and impacting issues that have significantly impacted on the inner self.

Now this would be the point at which some would say to ‘simply take it to the Lord in prayer,’ as though uttering a few words or a given formula is the panacea for all of life’s ills. I would suggest that these folk either have had little experience in truly ‘inner self’ impacting crisis’ or they are not telling the truth about how hard difficulties have been to cope with which they have experienced for fear of portraying prayer in a different light to that with which they have been indoctrinated.

I am not about pouring scorn on the merits of prayer or the God to whom prayer is directed ~ that is not my purpose in this post, for I too herald the power of prayer in transforming lives and being a mighty aid in answering life’s problems. I am simply stating that these ‘inner self’ impacting experiences are very real and are often the source of recurring heartaches, etc. I am also saying that I am not immune to these times as my current experience bears witness and my life history bears continuing testimony ~ even though prayer is an important part of my life.

So just at this point in time I find myself again enduring the difficulty of an ‘inner self’ impacting experience, along with all of the emotional stresses that come along with it – as do most (the honest readers anyhow) of you out there.

So why share this particular circumstance? Well, it is my Blog isn’t it? That’s what these things exist for – an open online journal, among other things.

Advertisements