My friend died in late June and I still find it difficult to believe that she is gone. It’s probably more likely that I simply miss her I think. In circumstances like this you tend to think about an event or events that took place in the past – a special happening or something like that.
Something that happened with Bec has been on my mind the last couple of days. Every so often Bec would feel a little down – sometimes more than a little down. On this particular occasion she was feeling more than a little worthless – as though she had no value and no reason to feel she had any.
Now as usual, she was wide of the mark on this particular subject. Bec had heaps of value and worth, and I often thought she had more than I. But that is something that was known only to Bec and I – the whole worth and value discussion/s. I have no intention of revealing all of that, but enough to say we had plenty of discussions revolving around the subject which we both appreciated and dare I say it, valued.
So there was this one time when I had been speaking to her on the phone and via text messages – and it was fairly late at night. Bec was a little down and I didn’t want her to stay that way so I thought a little about what I could do. I had a history with Bec of doing silly little things to cheer her up, etc. So this sort of thing wasn’t unusual. Anyhow, I came up with a plan and set about to put it in place.
I knew Bec was going to work the next day so I wanted to do something that she would discover when she headed off to work – to make sure she went to work much happier.
So what could I do??? Well, I collected a whole heap of short garden stakes and made a whole heap of little signs that I tacked to the stakes. Each sign had a little message on it about what I valued about Bec and how much worth I felt she had. There must have been about 30 signs I suppose.
So off I drove to Bec’s place with my signs. Bec’s car was parked on the street as usual and her bedroom window was on the side of the house nearest the car. So the mission had to be a quiet one.
I parked the car up the street a bit and quietly wandered down to Bec’s place with the signs. I then placed them from the gate down to her car, so she would have to see each of them – all over the place on the way down to the car.
Anyhow, to cut a long story short – Bec of course found the signs the next morning and rang me, thanking me for the gesture. It was only a silly little thing that I did, but it meant a lot to Bec and she held onto the signs, keeping them under her bed. It just gave her something to always look at when she felt a little down about her value and worth.
I know it was nothing extremely special and it didn’t cost a lot of money – but it doesn’t always have to be about money. It was about how I felt about Bec and she really valued that. It was just something special that we both shared and always remembered. It meant something to us both, as did other similar experiences that we shared – working both ways.
I miss her.