OK, I know you all want to know the answer to this question, ‘why did _____________ (enter name) unfriend me on Facebook?’ Well, the answer to that question may lie in the article linked to below. And I thought it was simply because they weren’t really your friend.
My best friend is not around anymore. I would probably have not written about her tonight, except I have been thinking about her throughout the day. I have just felt a need to write something about her tonight.
My friend Rebecca died over two years ago now, but the memory of her continues fresh in my mind and in my heart. I miss her so, so much. I think of her often – there may be a smile, sometimes a quiet laugh, often there will be tears. Her place has never been taken by another & her place will always be her place.
I think this far down the track I am yet to say goodbye… I don’t want to say goodbye. I still hope that she is just around the corner and that we can continue where we left off. One more conversation, one more embrace, one more look – one more so much. But that would still not be enough.
I knew her – she knew me. We could talk with openness. We just went together so well. Her thoughtfulness, her heart, her being – Rebecca. That is why she was my best friend. She was Rebecca – she is Rebecca. There is no one like Rebecca to me.
I miss her so.
Summer is a great time of the year – I love it. Summer has generally been the best time for getting into the Great Outdoors and exploring Australia. Summer has brought me many great memories – so many that it is hard to place one as being THE favorite summer memory. However, there is one summer memory that means more to me now than a lot of others, for one particular reason. It was in a November (summer in Australia) a few years ago now, that I traveled to Gloucester Tops with Bec and we enjoyed the bush, the river and the waterfalls together. It was a special time. It is even more special to me now because Bec died 2 years ago (June 25) and this is one of the greatest memories I have and times I spent with her. It was a great day I will never forget.
With the passing of the year 2008 and the beginning of 2009, I am looking forward to what I hope is a much better year than the one just finished. It would be very easy for me to simply look on 2008 as a year to forget (if I could), given the many difficulties that I had to pass through during the year.
Among the most difficult events of the year was my near fatal car accident in February 2008. I have been recovering from that accident for the entire year and still have a way to travel until I can again be confident that I am as fully fit as I can expect to be. Yet even here, I can be thankful that I wasn’t killed and that I have been able to return to work, am approaching a condition in which I should not be affected to greatly in the long term as a result of the accident, etc.
My greatest loss in 2008 was that of my dear friend Rebecca in June. She was my dearest friend whom I loved greatly. I have missed her every day since she died and will never forget her. This was the tragedy of 2008 for me, far surpassing the car accident and anything else that happened. Her death left me shattered and it is a blow from which I will never fully recover. Yet it was a tremendous privilege to have been given the opportunity to know her at all and to count her as my dearest friend for as long as I was able to do so is something I will forever be thankful for. Thank you Rebecca for giving me a place in your heart and in your life – I was blessed for knowing you.
There have been financial difficulties also from which I am beginning to emerge and I think this has been for the good, even through the immediate hardships that resulted. They will be for my good for the rest of my life and I look forward to the continuing recovery ahead.
2009 has the promise of a rebuilt life and that of continuing personal reformation which excites me as much as it will challenge me. When I left my previous employment in 2007 I thought the rest of my life was about to begin and a second chance presented itself. However, 2008 has been a continuance of that transition period and 2009 may well be the beginning of my second chance at life – so to speak.
I know I ended 2007 feeling very relaxed and contented with where I was at that exact moment and the ride ahead is something I look forward to. I have an agenda of personal reform, life changes and interests to pursue throughout 2009 – I now go ahead seeking to fulfil them as best I can.
Unlike New Years’ resolutions, I can have the confidence that progress can be made in these areas without the fear of simply failing to achieve what I have set out to do. With the Spirit of God operational in my life I have a living force that is more powerful than any of the obstacles that I can foresee and that I will in time confront. By the grace of God I can go on. Praise be to Him – I know my Redeemer lives!!!
For anyone interested in ‘online fellowship’ and/or friendship with other Particular and Reformed Baptists there is a social networking site just for you at:
Yesterday (September 25, 2008) marked three months since the tragic death of my dearest friend – Rebecca.
I still miss you Rebecca and always will.
My tribute to Rebecca can be found below:
I received an email in the last week or so from a friend and in it was one of those ‘chain mail’ like quizzes that you get in emails from time to time. Anyhow, for a change, I thought I might actually do the quiz and post it on my Blog as well. So here it is:
Getting to Know You 2008
Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends. Change all the answers so they apply to you, send it on to your friends and reply to the friend who sent it to you, and then you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known… and what they might like for Christmas.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
I got up at about 8.30 am – like to have a sleep in on a Saturday because I usually get up at 5.00 am for work.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
Neither do a great deal for me personally – though if I was buying for someone special it would more than likely be diamonds (if I could afford them).
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I haven’t been too much lately, but I believe I saw the last Rocky movie with Kylie and Mark.
4. What is your favourite TV show at the moment?
Not watching much on the box at the moment – except the news. So the answer would be the news I guess.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Don’t do breakfast – usually have something for Brunch, like a salad sandwich.
6. Favourite colour
7. What food do you dislike?
Tomato and tuna/salmon – yuk!!!
8. Favourite CD at the moment?
Not been listening to much lately – though I do like the latest Coldplay song a lot (Viva la Vida).
9. What kind of car do you drive?
I don’t – the last one tried to kill me in a bad accident (hit a tree and then went over the edge of a mountain). It was a Magna.
10. Favourite sandwich?
Hi fibre white bread (soft) with salad and ham (usually just lettuce, beetroot, lite cheddar cheese and ham – occasionally with a fried egg and/or bacon).
11. What characteristic do you despise?
12. Favourite item of clothing?
At the moment it is fairly basic – a pair of shorts.
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
I’m very keen to visit the Daintree in Queensland, tour Tasmania’s wild places and go to Kakadu again.
14. Favourite brand of clothing?
15. Where would you retire to?
Probably to the mountains in a reasonably remote location.
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
I think I had an enjoyable birthday with Rebecca once.
17. Favourite sport to watch?
18. Furthest place you are sending this?
Probably the Internet I’d say – it could turn up anywhere.
19. Person you expect to send it back first?
Wouldn’t expect to get one back to be honest.
20. When is your birthday?
Next Year. April 22. Any guesses on the age I’ll be?
22. Are you a morning person or a Night person?
Doesn’t concern me a lot – though I get a bit done at night.
None at the moment – but I do like to keep tropical fish.
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us?
Not at the moment – still trying to recover from the car accident. Will hopefully move to Tea Gardens in the New Year.
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
School teacher – didn’t happen.
27. How old are you today?
39 and a few months.
28. What is your favourite candy?
29. What is your favourite flower?
Being a horticulturist I like a lot of them – orchids are good.
30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
None really – most are the same at the moment. I like weekends J
32. What is your full name?
Kevin William Matthews.
31. What are you listening to right now?
Cricket on TV in the background (Australia Vs Bangladesh in Darwin One Day International), Air Conditioner is going (warm), heavy rain and gale force winds outside, traffic on the Pacific Highway and my hitting the keyboard keys while I type.
34. What was the last thing you ate?
A cheese and bacon pie – not too healthy I’m afraid.
35. Do you wish on stars?
36. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Does it matter – I wouldn’t know about anything. I like the colour blue.
38. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
39. Favourite soft drink?
Coke… though I’m refraining from drinking it at the moment – no good for me you see.
40. Favourite restaurant?
Haven’t been to any for a while – but I loved Sizzlers when it was around. I even went to Mt Isa to go to one.
41. Natural hair colour?
Brown – though there are quite a few greys these days.
42. What was your favourite toy as a child?
I have no idea – cricket bat perhaps.
43. Summer or winter?
44. Hugs or kisses?
45. Chocolate or Vanilla?
46. Coffee or tea?
Neither – I prefer hot chocolate here.
47. Do you want your friends to email you back?
I like them to get back to me – so yes.
48. When was the last time you cried?
Some time when I thought about Rebecca’s death.
49. What is under your bed?
Some shoes and magazines. I have limited storage here.
50. What did you do last night?
Slept – Played scrabble on the net and watched some ‘Chaser’s War on Everything (DVD).’
51. What are you afraid of?
Pain I suppose.
52. Salty or sweet?
Salty I think – though sweet is good too.
53. How many keys on your key ring?
A lot – though I’m not sure why.
54. How many years at your current job?
Coming up to 1 year.
55. Favourite day of the week?
One when I’m not at work J
56. How many towns have you lived in?
9 – Boolaroo, Stratford, Gloucester, Warners Bay, Charlestown, Argenton, Cardiff South, Bulahdelah and Croudace Bay (for a couple of months anyway).
57. Do you make friends easily?
Probably – but don’t have a lot.
58. How many people will you send this to?
A fair few – upwards of 20.
59. How many will respond?
None I would suspect.
60. What is your ideal Christmas Gift?
A car would be nice – but in reality, I don’t really expect much.
What is it about people that can really gain your interest? I don’t mean people who you just sort of know or a person that you chat to once in a while, yet find something interesting about them – I mean people who really catch your interest and make an impact on your life?
There are some people whom you admire because they have done something great – such as a renowned doctor or someone who has battled the odds and won. There are those that are perceived as great even though they have done little that can be truly regarded as meaningful – perhaps an actor or an actress, a football player or a well known pop singer. But it is not these people that I have in mind, as legitimately admired as they may be.
I am thinking about those people that are personally known to you, those people that have perhaps had a special impact on your life or who have a special place in your heart or life. What is it about these people?
These are the people whom you care so much about and that no matter what happens, what might be said or even might be seen, they have a place in your heart and in your life that cannot be dislodged. They have really gained your interest and you are perhaps intrigued by them to the extent that you just don’t feel you can perhaps be ‘normal’ again if they were no longer in your life.
We all have such people in our lives, even though we may not admit it to ourselves or try to give the impression to onlookers that it is not so. Yet it is so. Sometimes these people become our wife or husband, someone we admire or look up to from afar, or perhaps someone we might try to pursue, just feeling that we need them to be part of our life’s experience, no matter how small a part that might pan out to be.
Sometimes it can be just a smile and we are hooked. There we are talking away, as perhaps we have a dozen times before and then there it is – the smile. There may have been other smiles, but now there is this one. It is a smile you cannot forget.
You look and mark the characteristics of the smile. You see the dimples that form when her joy overcomes her and her delight can no longer be hidden away from view. There is the radiance that beams from her face and the eyes that seem to be able to see into your heart and mind, yet does so with a softness, with a compassion and with a knowledge that everything is going to be OK. Even her hair seems to join in with smile and her skin glows, forming part of this treasured portrait that you now will carry with you wherever you go. She may be physically removed, yet there she is, right there with you in the memory of her smile and in the smile that comes when your thoughts turn to that memory.
Sometimes these treasured ones, they leave this life before it seems time for them to do so. Sometimes they are gone well before the time that perhaps you think they should be gone. Yet this smile still remains and they are always there, with you along the way, as you remember the moment you first became aware of the smile and the place you made for her in your heart and in all that you are – because she is there and she cannot be moved from the place that you have made for her in your heart and in all of your being.
It can be a smile – that which begins it all. Something perhaps so small, so insignificant overall, but yet overwhelming for the impact and the pathway on which it sets your feet to tread. It is a pathway you walk, drawn on from such a simple beginning to an adventure of revelation and discovery as even more cherished scenes and experiences are charted along the way and the memories of a person are chronicled in the annals of this one not to be forgotten but always remembered.
There are always hooks on which you can hang the canvas of an experience you shared and of which you always wish to recall. A smell or a scene will draw from the mind a precious time or even a feature of the one you hold dear. There will be a smile, a simple smile that will form on your face that none other knows why – yet you know that your dear one is still there, even in the memories of times you held dear.
There will be times and happenings, all special for sure, yet just knowing her will be enough. What a joy it can be, just to have known and to feel the smile of that you held dear. It can be even a smile, though there be even so much more than that too.
It can be a smile.